Do you often find yourself trying to shoe-horn your personal life in around your business obligations? The famous “rocks, sand, and a jar” parable (first shared by Stephen Covey in First Things First) is meant to teach people to put priority projects into their schedule first before filling in all the space around them with the smaller tasks and obligations, but the result is usually that people prioritize all their work/business tasks (big rocks) and leave the rest of their “life” to fill in around them (sand).
This tends to work well in the short term, but eventually everything starts feeling discombobulated. To-do lists just grow longer and that ephemeral “work/life balance” feels more unbalanced than ever.
Finding balance among all our competing priorities is critical to leading a fulfilling life, but how we approach it sometimes causes more problems than it solves. In my opinion, the very concept of “work/life balance” is flawed.
Balance comes from joining practicality with vision. ~ Chögyam Trungpa
I first read Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chögyam Trungpa years ago, and despite not being in that particular religious tradition, I still return to the book often for insights into being human. I have always particularly liked the phrase quoted above, because it seemed to apply to how I managed my personal goals. In fact, I think part of the reason I created the Personal Projects Management method was to put that quote into practice.
After all, one the most endemic problems solopreneurs have is creating a balanced life. The whole “work/life balance” issue is pervasive, whether you are a business owner, a gig worker, or an employee. Time management systems and apps promise to help you “find more time in your day!” which I’m not sure is what we all need, actually.
We are bombarded by the concept “work/life balance” all the time these days, though, leading most of us to assume that if we don’t have it, it is a problem of our own making. That is both true and false. Part of the issue is the nature of late-stage capitalism that demands 110% of our lives be focused on the productivity of business, meaning it is a systemic problem you cannot personally fix. However, yes, there are ways to address “balance” in your life, even if most productivity advice tends to shove the “life” part of “work/life balance” to the background (maybe for your stay at home spouse to pick up? …yeah, I don’t live in the 1950s either!).
The basic concept of a mythical “work/life balance” has been a part of productivity advice for as long as productivity advice has been around. One of the oldest “modern” productivity advice books, which was published in 1910, is How to Live on 24 Hours a Day by Arnold Bennett, and it has a lot to say about balancing work, “self improvement,” and living a rewarding life (in charmingly antiquated language which makes it a fun, short read if you are so inclined!). Although, even then, it was advice given with the goal of helping the man being given the advice to become a better, more productive worker.
The phrase “work/life balance” has always bothered me though, because it rests in the assumption that “work” is not part of “life.”
That tracks for the patriarchal, industrialized world that has been around for a while now, though. Men went to work and “life” was what happened at home with the wife and kids and pets and hobbies. For such men, the “work” part was easy to let become overpowering, since after all that was all they were expected to do, and so much rested on them doing it well (financial security, social status, etc.). Then it became socially acceptable for women to work outside of the home, and “work/life balance” took on a new dimension as families struggled to find quality relationship and personal time at home with all the adults also working full time jobs.
The result is that these days, solopreneurs experience “work” as part of “life.” We are weaving a much more complex existence than simply balancing two very abstract concepts on the head of a pin.
Instead, we should look to Chögyam Trungpa’s quote, and arrange our schedules and our to-do lists with the idea of balancing “practicality” with “vision.” Of course, I personally think the principles of project management as embodied in my Personal Projects Management method are a neat way to do that, but honestly if you are willing to sit down with those two factors in mind as you consider the path ahead of you, that might be enough.
My friend and creativity coach Gina Edwards describes her role as coach to be both the “reality checker” and the “dream holder” for her clients. Being practical is an important part of any project you are managing, but having that dream, that vision of great things, is a critical piece for motivation and goal setting.
The best part of thinking about balancing your life by the principles of “practicality/vision” instead of “work/life” is that they are principles you can apply to work, to parenthood, to relationships, to art, or to your hobbies. It’s not about slicing your “life” off from your work, but creating a life of balance between the poles of your reality and your dreams.
An easy starting place for applying this philosophy is when you are writing out or sorting your to-do/task list for the day. As you go down the tasks you need to accomplish, consider how each practical item feeds your bigger dreams. Instead of weighing the time spent on “work” against the time spent on “life,” consider how “drive kids to dance lessons” fits into your goal of being a great parent. Or, how “meet with app developer” boosts your dream of creating an app that helps improve people’s lives.
Instead of desperately trying to balance a weighted scale every day, consider how you can tie your practical tasks to the big-picture vision of your life. You will be surprised to find out how much this changes your perspective on what “balance” means and how much easier it becomes to live a fulfilling, well balanced life.